From Lost to Confident: How I Reclaimed Myself Through Style

I still remember the exact moment I realised how far I had lost myself.

It was a family gathering, a simple event where my much younger cousin was heading off to her prom. Normally, I would have jumped at the chance to dress up, put effort into my look, and enjoy the occasion. But that day? I had nothing to wear. Not because my wardrobe was empty, but because I didn’t recognise myself in any of it.

I ended up throwing on a red and white t-shirt, jeans, and trainers, my hair undone, no makeup, feeling completely disconnected from the stylish, confident woman I used to be. Meanwhile, my two kids looked amazing, dressed to perfection. I, on the other hand, felt like a shell of myself.

That day stuck with me, and it wasn’t just about clothes. It was a reflection of how I had been feeling since having my second baby.

The Slow Disappearance of ‘Me’

Before motherhood, I knew my style. I felt good in my clothes, I had confidence in how I presented myself, and I enjoyed getting dressed. But after having my second child, everything changed.

That pregnancy was tough - so much harder than my first. It ended in a C-section, which left me feeling like I had somehow failed. My baby struggled with feeding, cried endlessly, and at just seven weeks old, she was hospitalised for a month due to a medical condition. The next two years were a whirlwind of hospital visits, sleepless nights, and medication schedules. I went back to work when she was six months old, trying to juggle everything - motherhood, career, a struggling relationship.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, I disappeared.

I had no time for myself. No energy to think about what I wore. My style - something that had always been part of my identity—became an afterthought.

Shopping for a New ‘Me’ (And Getting It All Wrong)

At some point, I tried to fix it. I went shopping, hoping that a few new outfits would help me feel better. But instead of buying things that reflected me, I bought things that weren’t my style at all. It was as if I was trying to reinvent or reclaim myself - but I had no idea who I even was anymore.

The result? A wardrobe full of clothes I never wore, with the tags still on, that eventually ended up in charity shops. Every time I opened my wardrobe, I felt even worse.

The Turning Point

Then, during the lockdowns of 2020, something shifted. With nowhere to go and nothing to distract me, I started exploring things I had never made time for - mindfulness, journaling, self-care. Slowly, I began to see myself again.

One of the most surprising but powerful changes came from revisiting my wardrobe. I started decluttering, curating a capsule wardrobe, and being intentional about what I wore. For the first time in years, I felt like myself again. It wasn’t about following trends or buying more - it was about aligning my style with who I truly was.

That journey led me to personal styling - not just as a passion, but as a career. Because I realised I wasn’t the only mum who felt this way.

Helping Other Mums Reclaim Their Confidence

Now, I help women who are exactly where I was. Women who feel invisible. Women who stand in front of a wardrobe full of clothes and feel lost. Women who want to reclaim their confidence but don’t know where to start.

I see you. I was you. And I promise - it’s possible to find yourself again.

Your style is more than just clothes. It’s how you show up in your life. It’s one of the most important elements of our self care as busy women and mothers. And I’m here to help you step back into the version of yourself you recognise - one that feels confident, stylish, and seen again.

Are You Ready to Reclaim You?

If any of this feels familiar, just know, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is to find your way back to you. But I also know it’s possible.

If you’re feeling like you’re ready to start feeling like yourself again, to look in the mirror and recognise the woman staring back, I’d love to help. Let’s have a chat - no pressure, just a friendly call to see where you are and where you want to be. You can book your Free Style Discovery Call here, and let’s take the first step together.

I’d love you hear back from you in the comments, does my personal story resonate?

Have you been there? How did you get out of there? Are you still there?…

With love (an understanding),

Debbie x